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baseball

This tag is associated with 8 posts

How To Write a Steroids in Baseball Column

If you are an old school sportswriter, a member of that tribe of grumpy men who compensate for their youthful athletic inadequacies by penning diatribes against so-called entitled, lazy, and greedy pro athletes—all from the safe confines of the press box and its free buffet spread—because, “Dagnammit, if I had his ability, I’d get my … Continue reading

Poor People Work Hard, Too!

Rich people get all that money by working hard. It’s a truism, yet, unlike so many clichés, is undoubtedly true. I don’t doubt for a minute that millionaire businessmen and Wall Street bankers put in 50, 60, even 70 hour weeks at the office when they’re not embezzling money, stashing assets in offshore tax havens, … Continue reading

Baseball Superstitions and Pieties

To the people who feel an obligation to share their opinion that “baseball is boring,” I say, fine, go watch something else, and come up with a better argument than the “X is boring” narrative that everybody, everywhere, uses to say why they don’t like something. I happen to think baseball is great. But, due … Continue reading

Postmodernism, or “That’s just your opinion!”

Back in the glory days of American Idol, when Simon Cowell would make fun of bad singers after their auditions, the occasional bad singer would reply with a tart and emotional “That’s just your opinion!” It was in these moments that America’s top reality show became a seminar on philosophy. For when that bad singer … Continue reading

How to Make the All Star Game Better

This year’s All Star game has great players like Joey Bats, Prince Fielder, and Adrian Gonzalez. Yet, if the game comes down to a final at-bat in the 9th (or maybe the 10th!) inning, that big game winning drive will have to be hit by Matt Joyce or Gabby Sanchez or Matt Weiters. Unlike the … Continue reading

Jose Reyes is a Starting All Star Shortstop. And, yeah, so is Derek Jeter.

In a win for intangibles, grit, David Eckstein, and heart, Derek Jeter was voted the American League’s All Star Game starting shortstop. Yes, this makes for easy snark. But if we look at the starting lineups, fans did a decent job. Jose Reyes is rightfully starting. Prince Fielder, for his superior first half, earned the … Continue reading

Grand Slam, Baby! Grand Slam, Baby! Go Mets! Go Mets!

For  almost two years, for 34 score and 18 days*—shit, that’s 99 flippin’ fortnights, this is biblical—the New York Mets did not hit a grand slam. That’s the whole team. The only Mets drought lasting longer is the no-hitter drought, currently at infinity. Since Angel Pagan went yard with the bases loaded on August 1, … Continue reading

In Defense of Anonymity: I’m Keith Hernandez’s Mustache and You’re Not

I’m Keith Hernandez’s mustache and you’re not.* I like bad baseball teams and good beer. *Note: I’m not affiliated in any way with the real Keith Hernandez. I’m another pseudonymous blogger. And why? Because somewhere there’s a writer talking about the gritty intangibles of David Eckstein or the clubhouse winning smile of Jeff Francoeur or … Continue reading