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Warren Buffett, Still a Grade-A Dick

Warren Buffett made billions off of the suffering of average people by betting the other way on shoddy mortgages and investments. But that's okay because he's a nice billionaire totally willing to pay a little bit more in taxes to help slightly unfuck you.

Hey kids, Warren Buffett’s the Good Billionaire™ because he grandstands and writes op eds in the Times telling everybody he’d totally take a higher tax rate if only someone would make him pay it. Barack Obama even nicknamed the proposed Fair Share Tax bill The Buffett Rule, which would require people making over $2 million to pay at least a 30 percent rate on their income tax, even on income from capital gains, currently taxed at 15 percent.

None of this changes the fact that Warren Buffett’s still a Grade-A dick who made billions touching peckers with Goldman Sachs (just the tip!) and betting on the very failure of millions of average people’s home mortgages and investments. He doesn’t get a cookie from me because he’s right on one fucking issue. Yeah, The Buffett Rule is good, but it’s already been filibustered by the Republicans and, anyway, fuck Buffett and his benevolence. If he wants to pay higher taxes (that will in no way put a dent in his lifestyle), the Treasury accepts checks.


About keithstache

I'm Keith Hernandez's mustache. And you're not. I like bad baseball teams and good beer.


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